Forehead you could show a film on...

Many of us were shocked when it was revealed this week that Russell Brand had been using his wife Katy Perry's forehead to screen old episodes of 'Ponderland'*. But can you blame him? The perfect square of perfectly flat, unblemished flesh sure beats a hanging strip of linoleum.

"Baby Botox" means that some people are getting frozen under 30, under 25, Lindsey Lohan is 24 and she's been doing it for years and I've got to admit I want in on the fixed and emotionless face trend.

The tell-tale signs are the unachievably smoothness of the forehead and the extreme waxy shine - not sure why that happens? - but as fake as it looks I marvel at the 'airbrush' effect Katy Perry achieves and that Nicole Sherzinger from the Pussycat Dolls**. Just perfect.

I'm yet to try it myself, but it's something I'm thinking about but when I do decide to take the plunge the before and afters will definitely be on here.


* story has been fabricated for a good opener to this blog

** No contestants were blinded by the reflected light bouncing off Sherzinger's face during the filming of this year's X Factor

The best a (wo)man can get?

As the weather is starting to warm up I am reminded that I won't be able to live my life in tights, jeggings and over-the-knee socks for much longer - hiding my stubbly pins.

I have always been a fan of leg-waxing and have a home kit of wax you warm in the microwave and cotton strips you can wash and re-use. Very eco-friendly, but very messy.

When I was bought the Remington 2 in 1 epilator and foil razor I was very apprehensive. Would it hurt? Would it cut my skin? The gadget makes a fierce whirring noise when you turn it on, but it's bark is worse than it's bite.

The sensation does sting at first - particularly near the ankles - but the cms of skin you clear of black hair is a great incentive to persevere. I'm such a fan I have even done my armpits with it - a particularly ouchy area.

The packaging says your hair need only be 0.5mm, but I think a mm is more realistic as it doesn't really suck up the hairs this short. After my first attempt I did need to have a quick shave to tidy up the areas I missed, but a fortnight on my legs have so little re-growth.

Shaving is still an essential part of my beauty regime as using the epilator is time-consuming and it did leave me with red spots on my angry follicles. For a really close shave use Bio-oil instead of shower gel. It leaves you with the smoothest finish you have ever experienced and moisturised skin. However be warned your razor will blunt almost twice as fast.

Lastly the Remington Epilator is just too painful to use on the bikini area (I did try and managed to clear about 10 hairs, but it wasn't worth it!). However I did borrow my boyfriend's razor and was really pleased with the result.

It's Gillette's new pro-glide razor and has a battery to power it's vibrating action which apparently is what gives it such a clean shave. There was no redness, no bumps, no cuts and no irritation with grow-back so I can't rate it enough.

Just don't get distracted with the vibrate motion ;-)

Don't believe the hype...

You would think that being a beauty PR I would be able to see the past the celebrity endorsement and realise just got Geordie-Chocoloate-Eyes is sat there grinning with half of China's sawn off hair attached to her head it doesn't mean the product is superior.

But when I saw the shiny pink can with Chezza's face on it I couldn't resist and happily began using my new purchase. I back comb my hair about 4 times a week with a fine tooth comb (I know surprising I have hair left!) ... spritzing into place with a light mist of hairspray.

Imagine my shock on New Years Day when after just a few weeks usage my can was empty! I couldn't believe it when I compared it to my trusty vat of TreSemme which lasts for months on end. If you want a hairspray that looks and smells like any other hairspray on the market, go for the 75ml can of Elnett. But for me it's the big boy 500ml TreSemme all the way.

New Year Weight Loss

Contrary to popular belief I do not maintain my size 8 physique through a cycle of bingeing and purging. While I occasionally gorge myself on a large takeaway or treat myself to a bit of cake, my diet is pretty good(ish) with lots of salad, fruit and my favourite food of all time VEGETABLES.

I’m determined to drop a few pounds this month. As well as eating more healthily and avoiding alcohol, here are my top 5 weight-loss tips…

1. Start late…
I know that every dietician under the sun says you must eat breakfast but I don’t rate this. If you have a bowl of cereal at 8am you’re peckish again by 11am which is no use. I start the day with a green tea, then I’ll have an Actimel a bit later and when my hunger pains can be ignored no more I’ll finally give in and have a banana. By then it’s nearly midday so you can delay lunch until 2pm/3pm and you won’t snack again through the afternoon as you’ll feel full until dinnertime.

2. Carbs are the enemy…
Bread is the invention of the devil and if you cut it out completely you’ll notice your tummy shrink within a few weeks. Pastries and white bread are the absolute worse – don’t go near them. They are fast-burning carbs too, so you won’t even feel full up for very long. If you need a bread-fix go for complex carbs – brown, wholemeal, nutty breads – or a crumpet which is pretty much air. A light spread of crunchy peanut butter contains about 4g protein, 1g fibre, magnesium, zinc and essential fatty acids which will give you energy.

3. Feel fuller from salad…
Salads are my favourite lunch. I pack out watercress and spinach leaves with cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, onion and celery. If you’re used to eating a big lunch, salad might not fill you up at first. You could try adding a couple of hard boiled eggs into the mix or some prawns. I sprinkle yummy pine nuts on mine as I had heard they swell in your stomach and fill you up. In fact they release a hormone called cholecystokinin (CCK) and that is what reduces appetite and helps you feel fuller.

4. Burn the roof of your mouth…
Then you’ll never want to eat again! No not literally, but you should consider adding chilli into your diet as it is a great way to speed your metabolism. The metabolism-boosting effects of chilli last up to three hours after ingesting them, so a hot, hot dinner could help you burn up an after-dinner snack. Your tolerance will increase quickly if you eat it regularly.

Salon talons work for me

My nails have always grown fairly long and strong, but I found I was constantly breaking them at work. My job requires me to unpack boxes and root around for stock, as such I would often snag the edges and have to file them all down to 'neat and square'. I hate 'neat and square' - it's just not "me" - but I also hate the thought of nail extensions and damaging my own nails.

I'd heard great things about Bioscupture - a non-chip protective coating for your nails - but I couldn't find anywhere in Brighton. I wanted 'Tanya Turner' talons and decided to enquire at a beauticians near my work.

I was advised to go for fibreglass nails. While acrylic nails are stronger they are also more damaging to the nails. She also advised me that fibreglass nails feel more flexible, so I wouldn't experience the initial 'tightness' that some acrylic nail wearers might be familiar with. I also didn't like the thickness of acrylic nails - they can look a little 'bulbous'?

I watched as she filed all my nails down to an even length - now all 'neat and square' but much shorter than I wanted. Carefully cut out the adhesive strips of fibreglass and sealing the strips with resin. After expert filing, buffing and a subtle french manicure added I was really pleased with how natural looking the result was.

The french manicure did not chip for two weeks and the hard coating protected my nails brilliantly. You can re-paint them between appointments (as long as you use acetone-free nail polish to remove varnish) and if you do break one my salon does quickie repair appointments (£1.75 per nail). "Nail lift off", where the glue weakens and your real nail falls away, occurs between week 3 and week 4.

The first set of fribreglass nails will cost between £30 and £40 and then about £20 thereafter. The cost is definately worth it. My nails are the longest they have ever been and polish stays chip-free for days - rather than hours. Always go to a reputable salon and be prepared to pay a bit more for a quality service that protects your real nails.

Smile though your arm is patchy...

"Poo elbow" is a skin condition I have been afflicted with since my mid-teens when I first discovered L'oreal Sublime Bronze. No matter how much careful exfoliation goes into that patch I still end up with a ten-tale line about 5 shades darker than the rest of my skin. Give a fuck. It's better than a cancerous mole.

I thought I would share some classic fake tan faux pas, because well laughter is the best medicine (even if it's at yourself!). Please find below...
a) Poo finger
b) Cowpat palm
c) Fecal feet
d) Just the worse. I can't believe I afflicted this on myself. Twat.

Thicker, longer eyelashes? Yes please!

We all want to achieve the sexy flutter of lots of long lashes. Cruelly God awarded some girls with little more than a few milimitres of short stumps. False lashes are great, but can look a little obvious if you're not adept at applying liquid eyeliner near-perfectly. And it's a fine line between feline sexiness and bad tranny. There are three creams to solve lash-length woes that any serious beauty addict needs to know about:

• Latisse - not for the faint-hearted. This prescription-only drug is very hard to get hold of in the UK and while lash lengthening and darkening has been reported in patients, side-effects such as iris darkening have also been reported.
• Mylash - almost identical to Latisse in composition and results achieved. Mylash is available in the UK, but you will need to have a consultation at a participating UK salon. Apparently 92% of consumers are happy with the results, which might soften the £200 price tag.
• Talika Eyelash Lipocils - This mixture of natural plant extracts promises to encourage eyelash growth and strengthen existing eyelashes. It can be purchased from trade beauty outlets or from ebay for about £10-£20.