Don't believe the hype...

You would think that being a beauty PR I would be able to see the past the celebrity endorsement and realise just got Geordie-Chocoloate-Eyes is sat there grinning with half of China's sawn off hair attached to her head it doesn't mean the product is superior.

But when I saw the shiny pink can with Chezza's face on it I couldn't resist and happily began using my new purchase. I back comb my hair about 4 times a week with a fine tooth comb (I know surprising I have hair left!) ... spritzing into place with a light mist of hairspray.

Imagine my shock on New Years Day when after just a few weeks usage my can was empty! I couldn't believe it when I compared it to my trusty vat of TreSemme which lasts for months on end. If you want a hairspray that looks and smells like any other hairspray on the market, go for the 75ml can of Elnett. But for me it's the big boy 500ml TreSemme all the way.

New Year Weight Loss

Contrary to popular belief I do not maintain my size 8 physique through a cycle of bingeing and purging. While I occasionally gorge myself on a large takeaway or treat myself to a bit of cake, my diet is pretty good(ish) with lots of salad, fruit and my favourite food of all time VEGETABLES.

I’m determined to drop a few pounds this month. As well as eating more healthily and avoiding alcohol, here are my top 5 weight-loss tips…

1. Start late…
I know that every dietician under the sun says you must eat breakfast but I don’t rate this. If you have a bowl of cereal at 8am you’re peckish again by 11am which is no use. I start the day with a green tea, then I’ll have an Actimel a bit later and when my hunger pains can be ignored no more I’ll finally give in and have a banana. By then it’s nearly midday so you can delay lunch until 2pm/3pm and you won’t snack again through the afternoon as you’ll feel full until dinnertime.

2. Carbs are the enemy…
Bread is the invention of the devil and if you cut it out completely you’ll notice your tummy shrink within a few weeks. Pastries and white bread are the absolute worse – don’t go near them. They are fast-burning carbs too, so you won’t even feel full up for very long. If you need a bread-fix go for complex carbs – brown, wholemeal, nutty breads – or a crumpet which is pretty much air. A light spread of crunchy peanut butter contains about 4g protein, 1g fibre, magnesium, zinc and essential fatty acids which will give you energy.

3. Feel fuller from salad…
Salads are my favourite lunch. I pack out watercress and spinach leaves with cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, onion and celery. If you’re used to eating a big lunch, salad might not fill you up at first. You could try adding a couple of hard boiled eggs into the mix or some prawns. I sprinkle yummy pine nuts on mine as I had heard they swell in your stomach and fill you up. In fact they release a hormone called cholecystokinin (CCK) and that is what reduces appetite and helps you feel fuller.

4. Burn the roof of your mouth…
Then you’ll never want to eat again! No not literally, but you should consider adding chilli into your diet as it is a great way to speed your metabolism. The metabolism-boosting effects of chilli last up to three hours after ingesting them, so a hot, hot dinner could help you burn up an after-dinner snack. Your tolerance will increase quickly if you eat it regularly.

Salon talons work for me

My nails have always grown fairly long and strong, but I found I was constantly breaking them at work. My job requires me to unpack boxes and root around for stock, as such I would often snag the edges and have to file them all down to 'neat and square'. I hate 'neat and square' - it's just not "me" - but I also hate the thought of nail extensions and damaging my own nails.

I'd heard great things about Bioscupture - a non-chip protective coating for your nails - but I couldn't find anywhere in Brighton. I wanted 'Tanya Turner' talons and decided to enquire at a beauticians near my work.

I was advised to go for fibreglass nails. While acrylic nails are stronger they are also more damaging to the nails. She also advised me that fibreglass nails feel more flexible, so I wouldn't experience the initial 'tightness' that some acrylic nail wearers might be familiar with. I also didn't like the thickness of acrylic nails - they can look a little 'bulbous'?

I watched as she filed all my nails down to an even length - now all 'neat and square' but much shorter than I wanted. Carefully cut out the adhesive strips of fibreglass and sealing the strips with resin. After expert filing, buffing and a subtle french manicure added I was really pleased with how natural looking the result was.

The french manicure did not chip for two weeks and the hard coating protected my nails brilliantly. You can re-paint them between appointments (as long as you use acetone-free nail polish to remove varnish) and if you do break one my salon does quickie repair appointments (£1.75 per nail). "Nail lift off", where the glue weakens and your real nail falls away, occurs between week 3 and week 4.

The first set of fribreglass nails will cost between £30 and £40 and then about £20 thereafter. The cost is definately worth it. My nails are the longest they have ever been and polish stays chip-free for days - rather than hours. Always go to a reputable salon and be prepared to pay a bit more for a quality service that protects your real nails.

Smile though your arm is patchy...

"Poo elbow" is a skin condition I have been afflicted with since my mid-teens when I first discovered L'oreal Sublime Bronze. No matter how much careful exfoliation goes into that patch I still end up with a ten-tale line about 5 shades darker than the rest of my skin. Give a fuck. It's better than a cancerous mole.

I thought I would share some classic fake tan faux pas, because well laughter is the best medicine (even if it's at yourself!). Please find below...
a) Poo finger
b) Cowpat palm
c) Fecal feet
d) Just the worse. I can't believe I afflicted this on myself. Twat.

Thicker, longer eyelashes? Yes please!

We all want to achieve the sexy flutter of lots of long lashes. Cruelly God awarded some girls with little more than a few milimitres of short stumps. False lashes are great, but can look a little obvious if you're not adept at applying liquid eyeliner near-perfectly. And it's a fine line between feline sexiness and bad tranny. There are three creams to solve lash-length woes that any serious beauty addict needs to know about:

• Latisse - not for the faint-hearted. This prescription-only drug is very hard to get hold of in the UK and while lash lengthening and darkening has been reported in patients, side-effects such as iris darkening have also been reported.
• Mylash - almost identical to Latisse in composition and results achieved. Mylash is available in the UK, but you will need to have a consultation at a participating UK salon. Apparently 92% of consumers are happy with the results, which might soften the £200 price tag.
• Talika Eyelash Lipocils - This mixture of natural plant extracts promises to encourage eyelash growth and strengthen existing eyelashes. It can be purchased from trade beauty outlets or from ebay for about £10-£20.

Long live the Pidg

I'm not going to lie I fucking love my new bag.

It's called the Pigeon. It's got a grey moc croc finish with a front covered in soft, pink feathers. It's the sort of thing that one can wear with anything to anything. It's fucking brilliant. I love it. And it comes in a dusky grey (the tit), a sleek black (the crow) and bright mulit-coloured (the parrot).

Available from http://www.asos.co.uk/

Pore Posh…

If you’re an oily skin sufferer like posh you’ll know that flash photography is not always your friend. It can highlight the greasy film that penetrates past your foundation and even your powder to sit proudly on your T-zone. Oily skin throws up a number of beauty dilemmas and even if you have learnt to combat blemishes, you are likely to suffer from unsightly visible pores – that can look black if left untreated.

You’ll be laughing in 20 – 30 years though, as your arid compadres desperately apply moisturiser morning, noon and night to keep their skin looking young - while your face flourishes like a well-watered garden.

Until then here are my top tips for keeping black heads and visible pores at bay…

- Steaming… There’s no need to waste money on a branded steamer: simply fill a bowl with hot water and chuck a towel over your head. This will open up your closed and dirty pores making the ‘removal’ process a lot easier. Put a couple of drops of Tea Tree Essential Oil into the bowl which is antiseptic and wipe your face with a cotton wool ball soaked in Pure Distilled Witch hazel.

- Exfoliate… A harsh exfoliater can actually encourage the sebum glands to produce more oil. A nice gentle one is the aptly named Gentle Exfoliating Scrub from Avene. Use it everyday to dislodge black scum.

- Overnight… When my pores were looking particularly polka-dot print the other night I rubbed this blemish gel by Australian Tea Tree (below) all over the offending area – nose and cheeks – by morning they were much better.

- Cosmetic… Okay so we can’t be perfect all the time with our skincare routine. I often fall asleep in my make-up and wake up a greasy mess. Thank the lord for a new innovation from Benefit – the PoreFessional. I haven’t bought this yet (payday permitting), but did have a fabulous demonstration in Debenhams, Croydon. The tingly menthol cream glides easily on for “translucent pore coverage and smoother-than-smooth skin”. She applied it over my make up on my forehead and ta-da grease patch gone!